Imagine, waking up and looking out your window, you see planet Earth in the distance. You find your fellow astronauts still sleeping. You put on your Mars suit and take a walk outside. You think "Human colonization on Mars really IS possible. The Mars One organization is a not-for-profit organization that will bring the first human to Mars on 2023. I am going to tell you about the mission, the risks, and what it could lead to in the future.
The training for Mars One will begin this year, Mars One will build a replica of the Mars settlement on Earth, likely in a cold and desolate environment. At January, 2016, a supply mission will be launched, it will land on Mars on October with 2500 kilograms of supplies. In 2018 the first settlement rover will land on Mars, it will begin the construction of the settlement. A video-stream will broadcast to Earth constantly. At 2021 the rest of the supplies for the settlement reach Mars, along with a second rover, which also has a video-stream. At the September of 2022, Mars Team One will begin their one-way journey to Mars. 7 to 8 months later, the first 4 human will land on Mars. Every 2 years, they will launch 4 additional astronauts, steadily increasing the settlements size. The astronauts will conduct a great deal of research, which will advance our technology greatly.
The risks of human space exploration is dangerous at all levels, a small mistake or accident can result in large failure, injury, and death. And the one-way risk means that you will have to stay on Mars for the rest of your life. So you might ask, "Why would anyone want to go to Mars, and say goodbye to their family and friends, knowing that they will never come back?"
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5 comments:
Overall, this was a great speech.
The hook grabbed my attention right from the start and made me immediately visualize how amazing that would be.
Your body paragraph really did a great job of explaining about how the mission itself would work and why they would want to launch this mission. The speech itself is spaced out well and includes all the main structures of a speech (intro, body, conclusion, etc.)
As Sydney mentioned above, I would suggest timing the speech as it seems it may go over the 2-minute time limit, depending on how fast you read.
Moving onto the conclusion, your final words really brought a powerful ending to your speech.
"And the one-way risk means that you will have to stay on Mars for the rest of your life. So you might ask, "Why would anyone want to go to Mars, and say goodbye to their family and friends, knowing that they will never come back?"
This would connect with the audience well, why would you want to go to Mars knowing you may never come back? Guess we may have to find out!
Overall, great work Johnny!
In the beginning I agree with Sydney and I think you should try to fix that Instead of I am going to ... You should try to make it flow easier. I liked how you used examples it really brought the picture to mind. I also like how you talked about everything in order (the dates), and I also liked that you ended with a question which really made the class think.
That's weird..... why can't I see my comment? I did post a comment to this speech. Even Kevin and Jessica saw it. Well I guess I'll just post it again!
Johnny, your hook really grabbed my attention. It is a good hook that many people would be interested in. I feel like so many people would be interested to hear about going to Mars. I think you should change the "I am going to tell you about...." and make it flow into the speech more. Have a transition word in there to not sound choppy.
I really liked how in your body, you spaced out everything and you put every event in order so it will be easy to follow for the audience. Those dates will really make the audience believe that what you are saying is true. As I was reading your speech, I felt as if you were actually describing a real event because you have every detail possible.
As I read your conclusion, I liked how you ended with a question to really make the audience think and want to keep listening. That question really relates to us because I don't think anyone would want to leave their friends and family. Have you timed your speech? I sure hope so because this is a fantastic speech and I want the whole class to hear all the details you have included!
Good job, Johnny!
Strange-not sure what happened to your comment
Overall, i liked your speech.
it was great topic and made me interesting. Going to Mars. I also think your hook was great. it really grabbed my attettion and makes me want to read more. When i read your hook it made me kept reading and made it really interesting. i think you choosed really good topic. Your conclusion was great as well, it was really powerful and makes me think again why people would go to Mars still, even though you have a risk of dying. anyway it was great speech. Nice job.
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